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2014-09-08

Warrior Anti-Heroes: BSU


BSU Flesh for Fantasy

Warrior Heroes: Legends
With the coming release of 2 Hour Dungeon Crawl, I thought it might be a good idea to whip out Warrior Heroes: Legends and throw together some stats for the crew based on – well, the horrible nature that you know we all share. You know, the accumulated cruft of more than a decade of knowing each other?

Yeah, that stuff.

I’m also digging around in the previous WH version, Warrior Heroes: Armies and Adventures which has a significantly broader setting description, mainly for inspiration on where folks hail from, but you don’t need that any more than you need a copy of a Forgotten Realms reference to enjoy D&D parody stuff. Don’t be silly.


Free Fantasies

If you don’t have WHL, and truthfully I have no expectation that you would, because what kind of crazy geek would own several hundred different and varied RPGs from throughout the history of the industry, that’s OK. THW puts out a free version of their fantasy core called Swordplay, simply enough. Inside you’ll find all the basic mechanics you’ll find in all the melee-focused THW games, ready for you to go ahead and try out to see if you like.1
You’re never going to find a better deal in gaming than “give it a try; if you like it, buy something.” That’s the best deal.

Where?

Everything has to happen somewhere. This particular adventuring party is being horribly traditional and meeting in a tavern on the west of the Riata (Celtics, effectively)2 tribal lands. If you can’t find trouble when surrounded by Celts and booze, you’re not in a fantasy campaign!

Characters

Alexandrvs “Teuthis” Vallhans

History

Valhans was born to the east of the known lands, amidst the Seniira, former vassal states of the Tropilom forces. The command of placid seas and people held no real allure, so he sought out the most exotic training that he might find: necromancy, at the hands of an old woman he had brought in from the eastern lands of the Black Moon. Necromancy is not exactly the most smiled-on field of endeavour, so he’s looking for a few sturdy arms to carry his message to the world:
“They’re dead, and that’s OK!”
Personality and Appearance
Typically, charming and indolent. Likely to try to deal from a position of force, especially when he clearly holds it. Hates to be balked. Has an increasingly strange urge toward deep sea water and an occasionally stated hunger for brains. Hints of what might be tentacles forming at the corners of his mouth.

Stats

  • Male Human (mostly?) Seniiran Star
  • Man Size
  • Alignment: Twilight (though tending Black Moon)
  • Age: Mature
  • Reputation: 4
  • Class: Caster (Necromancer)
  • Magic Power: 4d6
Skills
Physical People Savvy
4 3 4
Attributes
Arcane Knowledge
The ability to read and decipher scrolls, manuals and spell books, allowing them to cast spells.
Charismatic
Counts a +2d6 when taking a People Challenge.
Quick Reflexes
+1d6 when taking an In Sight
Gear
Weapons
Black Wax Spear (2HW) +2d6 Melee with both hands, +1d6 one-handed
Armor
Black leather jerkin and breeches (AC2)
Spells
Damage
Tentacles of the Untoward
Defend
Cthon’s Rough Gaze
Dazzle
Compulsion of Sorrows

Erik “Half-Bee” Thomas-son

History

Sturdy Mirholme stock, Erik took to the sword and board at an early age. Any subtext here is completely your own. The Mercenary life and the stories of Mirholme warriors leading daring raids deep into the lands of the enemy to rape and plunder filled his noodle. Unfortunately, rape and plunder proves to be too messy for the young man and a comfortable life of caravan guarding and occasional village constabulatory action proved quite nice enough, thank you.
Personality and Appearance
A big, gentle mountain of a man, even if he looks like he could fall over and squish you at a moment’s notice. Fond of kittens, puppies, children, flowers – generally all that stuff that if you see a Viking poncing around with, you disregard the big pointy thing he’s usually carrying. Bad idea.
Also probably a bad idea is joining up with a black-leather-wearing wizard with this weird undead-acceptance philosophy in a tavern, but hey, what’s life without terrible ideas?

Stats

  • Male Human Mirholme Star
  • Man Size
  • Alignment: Red Sun
  • Age: Mature
  • Reputation: 4
  • Class: Soldier
Skills
Physical People Savvy
4 4 3
Attributes
Resolute
+1d6 when rolling on the Charge into Melee Table.
Resilient
Once during each Encounter the character will treat its first Out of the Fight result as a Stunned result instead
Strong Willed
Add one passed d6 when rolling on the Charge into Melee Table.
Gear
Weapons
Heavy Shortsword (1HW), +1d6 in Melee
Round Shield , +1d6 in Melee if attacked to front
Armor
Chainmail (AC4)

Ki-yo “Me” Dee

History

Daughter of a travelling merchant from the Kjothei, Ki-yo has devoted herself to doing anything but merchant-ing. Because it’s boring. And tedious. And really gets in the way of settling down with a good book or scroll. The trip west to Riata was less exciting than you might think, which made it all the worse. When the opportunity came along to go south to Aeja with her father or north into the hard-drinking and hard-fighting territories, technically she chose south. Merchants hear rumours, though, and tales of a series of scrolls – perhaps even a vast repository! – about young beastmen in love tempted her to find a travelling group whom she might sway into seeking it.
These guys might do. Maybe. If she can keep their bumbling asses alive long enough.
Personality and Appearance
A short, chubby, Kjothei woman fond of wearing bust-revealing black outfits and typically carrying a look of complete incredulity on her face. There has been some debate about whether it’s genetic or simply the result of her usual company. If you offer her stories about beastmen with their genitalia engorged and unable to be extricated from one another, she’ll be your friend forever.
Secretly, she’s been sneaking copies of her scrolls into Erik’s backpack.

Stats

  • Female Human Kjothei Star
  • Man Size
  • Alignment: Twilight (better love story than)
  • Age: Young
  • Reputation: 4
  • Class: Healer
Skills
Physical People Savvy
4 4 3
Attributes
Healing
The ability to heal the sick and wounded and create Potions.
Wary
+1d6 when rolling on the In Sight Table
Resilient
Once during each Encounter the character will treat its first Out of the Fight result as a Stunned result instead.
Gear
Weapons
Paired Daggers (1HW), +1d6 in melee, treated as shielded in melee
Armor
Long-sleeved black blouse and loose-fitting trousers (AC2)

Mikael “Magnus” Leneskiradaleneridinkkidu

History

Hailing from the Tereken islands, “Magnus” (no one ever uses that last name; by the time they’re done he’s already left) came from a pirating family. Piracy being a big deal to the Tererken, it was an immediate boon that he turned out to be fairly good at it! Until the first time they put a healing poultice in his hand and expected him to keep the wounded alive after a successful capture.
It should have been a cake-walk.
Fifteen bodies later, he was no longer allowed to be the medic, ever again. In fact, the ship pulled into the nearest secluded bay and he was booted out with a hearty, “And stay out, you bastard!”
Personality and Appearance
Tall, dashing, long black hair, a fondness for ruffled long-sleeved shirts and tight leather breeches, and a surprising disaffection for big plumes stuck in his hair. Despite his rather inauspicious start, “Magnus” is the very image of the piratanical ladies’ man, leaving a trail of broken hearts across the hundreds of miles from the sea to this little tavern in Riata.
A long way from the sea.
For a pirate.

Stats

  • Male Human Tereken Star
  • Man Size
  • Alignment: Red Sun
  • Age: Mature
  • Reputation: 4
  • Class: Missile
Skills
Physical People Savvy
4 4 3
Attributes
Quick Reflexes
+1d6 when taking an In Sight
Gear
Weapons
Crossbow (CB) Imp3, R24/12, 2H, Reload
A Lot of Knives (K) Imp1, R4
Armor
Bright blue leather jerkin and bright yellow tights (AC4)

Wawr “The Dawn” Goleudydd

History

Ah, the Riata. Bold, adventurous, sometimes screamingly insane, occasionally blue-painted warriors where the women are probably more dangerous than the men because they metabolize the proto-whisky better and fall over slightly less. Now, imagine you’re a tall, hulking, terrifying red-haired woman of a warrior that gives people deeply disturbing, penetrating stares, comes from one of the most militant tribes of the region, and likes to hang out in taverns where shady characters assemble adventuring parties.
Congratulations, you’ve got it!
Personality and Appearance
Tall, broad-shouldered, probably only an inch or so shorter than the Half-Bee and much less disciplined, fond of wearing more leather (just) and less metal (just). Far less talkative in the main, and while occasionally vulnerable to assault by cuteness, will really get started talking if anyone expresses even remote interest in an obscure Riatan “sport” called “hand-egg,” though most of the discussion of late has been how the game’s been going to the Ekra with all the latest pussification of the rules, like no broadswords on the field and no helmet-to-helmet deliberate concussing.

Stats

  • Female Human Riatan Star
  • Man Size
  • Alignment: Red Sun
  • Age: Mature
  • Reputation: 4
  • Class: Warrior
Skills
Physical People Savvy
4 4 3
Attributes
Resilient
Once during each Encounter the character will treat its first Out of the Fight result as a Stunned result instead.
Vicious
Add 1 auto success in melee
Gear
Weapons
Two-Handed Broadsword “Hebog” (2HW) +2d6 in melee
Armor
Leather, so much leather (AC2)

  1. Swordplay does not include the mechanics for magic users found in WHL and WHAA. Just straight up fist-on-sword-on-shield hardcore kill-festing. As a positive, if you wondered if you could do “realistic” non-sorcerous army and group conflicts in THW games, here’s your proof and your plan.
  2. If you really, really want to know more about the fantasy setting of Two-Hour Wargames, the book you want to check out is Rally ‘Round the King, the large scale fantasy battles book. Lots and lots of nations, a whole system for waging international campaigns of wide war, and integratable with WHL if you want your PCs to go trapsing off to blood and glory.